jamie (spaceduck8) wrote,

rant cont'd.

i'm so incredibly disappointed that he's not worth half the time and energy i spent, and that i'm not better at recognizing shitty people. i hold great store by my instincts and they've never let me down so badly.

he's the first regret i've had in a really long time. defenitely the only one i hold at the moment. there is no reason for such complete dishonesty by way of silence. i deleted his number and picture from my phone tonight and i'm trying to convince myself to forget them both; i think the number's gone. i don't even want to have to option of contacting him, though i know in reality that's silly because i drive past his apartment almost every day and work right across the street from him. if he wants to talk to me, he knows the same. i wonder.

even when someone gives you absolutely nothing, people are so transparent and yet still so suprised when you sit down and tell them all about themselves. i'd like the opportunity but won't seek it out.

so, chalk up july-november as a loss. heartbroken, yes, but by disappointment and disgust, not love. thank god i never loved him.
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