it's exciting to feel like writing again. i've neglected this so long i doubt there's even anyone out there reading this, but if there is, say hello. things are strange here; sometimes i feel achingly unhappy and usually i realize it's only boredom and a fear that i will never have what i want, namely, an everyday occupation that satisfies me. i need to do art. other days i wake with a timid optimism and an umistakable joy that i've found the man lying asleep next to me. when i am scared of death, it's his i'm scared of, not mine. when i'm scared of pain or suffering i'm scared of his. love? yes.
music and art still drive everything i do. i need to do art, all the time. i think i need to tattoo people. to sit in a chair and change people, a little bit at a time, every single day.