i finally don't want him anymore. that's not quite true. i want him, but only because i know i can't have him, and realizing that was important. he doesn't deserve to have me feeding his ego like i have been the last few months and i'm not going to do it anymore. i want him to know he missed his chance, and i guess since i want him to know it i'm officially overly concerned with petty bullshit. well, we all have our moments (or months.) i put myself way, way out there with him and got NOTHING in return. i wish i would just have let him teach me to pierce, but looking back on it i don't htink either of us could have changed anything at first. we were just really, really attracted to each other but once he knew it had turned in to something else for me, he should have had the decency to reject me straight out instead of making me piece it together. ugh.
it's silly that it took someone else to get my head straight, especially since it's someone who doesn't know me that well, but hopefully that's going to change.